Melodrama to the Max

I've been neglecting my NetFlix recently so when I woke up early on Saturday I decided to watch the two movies that have been sitting around here for awhile: Elizabethtown and Billy Elliot. I really enjoyed Billy Elliot though the disc was damaged and I missed a couple really important scenes including the "Dance of Defiance" when Billy kinda comes out to his dad showing him how good he can really dance. Maybe someday I'll get to see it. I saw part of the Dance by watching the special features. That's how I know about it at all.

I thought Elizabethtown was going to be a romantic comedy but it wasn't really funny and it really wasn't that romantic. I liked it but I think my expectations going in ruined it a little for me. Maybe I just liked it cuz it was Ooo, Ooo, Orlando the entire movie. I kinda like him juuust a little bit. Which may explain moving Troy and Kingdom of Heaven to the top of my queue. They were both in my mailbox tonight so I decided to watch Troy. That's where the melodrama comes in, not necessarily in this order.

First there was the heaving, desperate romance of the beautiful Paris and Helen. Then there was the angsty, brotherly confrontation between the beautiful Paris and Hector on the boat leaving Sparta. Then there was the supernatural Achilles taking down a muuch bigger man with a single stroke. Then there was the yummy Odysseus trying to persuade a petulant Achilles to go to war with Troy. Then there was the saccharine reunion of Hector and his wife and son. Oh the longing glances. Oh the manly shoulders. Oh the flowing locks of gold.

Oh, then there was the petulant disregard of kingly orders. Then there was the bloody sacking of Apollo's temple. Then there was them thar fighting words. Then there was the heaving, desperate romance of Achilles and that dark-haired girl. Then there was the brave self-sacrifice then the cowardly self-preservation of the beautiful Paris. Then there was lots and lots and lots of fighting which I fast-forwarded through. (Did you know that even when fast-forwarding, if you have the subtitles on, they still show up? Ducky for me!)

Then there was the great big burning balls of fire!! Oooo! Then there was lots and lots and lots of fighting which I fast-forwarded through. Then there was the stupid bravery of Achilles' cousin and the aching self-doubt of Hector. Oh, the teary, kohl-lined eyes. Oh, the cute rosy baby. Then there was the heaving, desperate call of "Hector!" "Hector!" "Hector!" (not what you're thinking!) and then the fiercest, coolest, fight between men in skirts you ever did see. Then there was the dragging through the sand. Then there was the old man crying. Then there was the satisfying redemption of a soul.

Then there was the wily yummy Odysseus and the big black horse. Then there was the smart, beautiful Paris saying "Burn it" and the foolish old men saying "It's a present. Let's take it into our impenetrably walled city and dance around it!' Then there was lots and lots and lots of fighting which I fast-forwarded through. Then there was heaving, desperate running and running and running and oh just a little more running. Oh, the sad parting words! Oh, the beautiful Paris and his bow! Oh, an arrow through Achilles' Achilles' heel!

Whoo. I'm tired from all that heaving and running and fighting. I think I need some popcorn.